FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize