You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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