Small penises have feelings too.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
