Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize