when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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