then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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