what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize