driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
