We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
