we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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