I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
