Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize