Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
