Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
