He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
