she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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