watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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