I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
