great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
