too bad you live with your parents still
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
