Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
