So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
