The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this will be a night to untag.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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