i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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