Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
