oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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