nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
