Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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