By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
