Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
