You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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