My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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