nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
