Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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