Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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