its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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