Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
