Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Drunk is not a location!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
