whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am available for nakedness
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
