That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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