Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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