i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
