planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
