We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
