wrigley field is MILF paradise
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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