remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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