At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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