He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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