she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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