The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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