dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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