Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
