As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I can't put those talents on a resume
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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