I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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