nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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