they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
