Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
