The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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