Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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