You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
