I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
