dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
